She Knew He Meant 'I Love You'
by pam halliwell
Summary: One-shot. 1/2 of the non-Judging Breakfast Club help but it's Chuck and Blair that are each other's support.


_Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with GG, Josh Schwartz, the CW etc._

GGGG

Chuck leaned onto one side of the elevator leading up to the Waldorf residence. He was so tired. He could barely keep his eyes open but he was finally going to face her. He wasn't sure what he was going to say but he would face her. Best case scenario: They did what they did best. She would be in her bedroom wearing the latest dress and a matching headband, looking gorgeous without even trying. They would banter. He would find a way how to indirectly tell her he loved her and then he would promptly kiss her, show her just how much he had truly missed her. He smiled a little at the thought of this scenario as he felt the elevator approaching her floor. He stretched his back a little, moaning at the surge of discomfort he felt. He really was tired. This whole sleepless nights thing was really becoming a bitch.

The elevator dinged to the apartment and Chuck immediately noticed the dead silence resonating. Blair should be home at this time. He took a look around without exiting, wary of the quiet. He stepped out and called out her name. Suddenly, Dorota appeared from the kitchen, bustling with a few towels in hand, seemingly agitated.

"Mr. Chuck!" She stopped as she noticed him.

Nate came out from the kitchen carrying a bottle of water and a few snacks. His brow was furrowed in worry and he was clearly upset. He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed Chuck, eyes widening.

"Nate, what's..."

"Nate, you're going to have to help me carry her. I can't do it on my own."

Chuck's head snapped up to look at Serena as she rushed down the stairs, looking the worse for wear. Her blonde hair flew every which way as she turned her head abruptly and noticed what Nate had been staring at.

"Serena, what's going on? I thought you and Blair... and what the hell is Nate...?" Chuck looked from Serena to Nate and quickly back to Dorota. And suddenly it dawned on him.

He ran past Dorota, almost toppling the petite woman over, past Serena who tried to clutch at his arm.

"Chuck. No. Wait."

But he didn't wait.

"Blair," he called out as he flung her bathroom door open.

And there he found her. His perfect Blair, leaning against the bath, tears running down her porcelain cheeks. She barely made a sound. She barely breathed. She looked as if all the energy she ever had had been drained out of her.

"Blair," he softly whispered as he approached her. He slipped down next to her. Any and he knows ANY other time or ANY other woman and he would not have willingly crouched down onto a bathroom floor. But this was Blair and he knew why Dorota or Serena had probably found her in the bathroom, unwilling to move. For the first time in a long time, he prayed he was wrong.

He moved her hair away from her face and when he still didn't get a response out of her, he lifted her up into his arms. She moaned slightly at the movement and her head leaned against his shoulder. She felt so weak in his arms. He stared hard at her face, willing her to open her eyes while placing her softly on her bed. He barely acknowledged Serena, moving closer to see how her best friend was. Dorota was wringing her hands, although had he paid attention he would have noticed the look of gratitude on the loyal woman's face.

As soon as she was firmly on the bed, Dorota bustled quickly over to her, moving Chuck aside just as he had previously done to her.

"I take care of Ms. Blair. All of you, go to living room now. No arguments."

Chuck made a move to touch Blair again. He couldn't leave her, not while she looked like this.

"I said no arguments Mr. Chuck." And with one final flailing of the arms, Dorota had shooed them out.

Chuck, Serena and Nate quietly made their way back to the living room, Nate arriving first. Serena sat down on the sofa and put her head in her hands. Hadn't it been a year ago when she had sat on the exact same spot and Blair had been the one comforting her? How could this have happened? How could she not have realised?

"Would someone care to explain to me what the hell just happened?"

In all the years that he had known him, Nate had never heard Chuck speak in such a menacing tone.

Serena looked up, tears in her eyes.

"You know the story as well as we do Chuck."

"WELL THEN WHY THE HELL WAS I THE LAST TO KNOW?"

Serena jumped slightly. Never, not once had Chuck ever raised his voice to anyone. She couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"I couldn't call you Chuck. How could I call you? After everything? After what you said to each other last week?"

"So you call Nate?! As I recall this problem started when she was dating him."

"Now wait a minute..." Nate moved closer to Chuck, visibly hurt by his words. He understood that Chuck was upset. He even understood that right now Chuck didn't care about hurting anyone so long as Blair was ok. But he had cared about Blair back then. Heck he still did, he wouldn't be here if he didn't.

Serena quickly jumped up and placed her arms between the two of them as they glared at each other. Chuck looked right about ready to hit anything and if the first thing in his path was Nate's face, then so be it.

Serena looked into Chuck's eyes. She was surprised that she felt fear at how dark they had become.

"This is not Nate's fault Chuck."

Chuck moved back, arranging his coat.

"The hell it is." He glared straight at Serena, "It's your fault," he directed at her and then turned his gaze at Nate, "and yours."

And then suddenly his threatening resolve broke down, "It's my fault," he declared desperately.

"It's all our fault. We should have taken better care of her," he declared with renewed anger.

A new set of tears fell from Serena's eyes as she realised how right he was. Nate dropped his head shamefully.

Chuck's eyes caught a movement at the top of the stairs. There she was clad in only her finest robe. She looked tired and haggard, but she carried herself with the same poise she always did. And he admired her then. More than he ever had before. Because when he had fallen, he traipsed on a ledge. But when she fell, she got right back up, beautiful as ever.

All three looked up at her at that moment, unsure of what to say.

"Look at that, the non-Judging Breakfast Club... together again."

Blair spoke softly, as she slowly descended the stairs. A sad smile was on her face as she looked at each of her friends.

The silence was so thick between the four, Dorota could have cut it with a knife.

Blair held their full attention. Not because of what had just happened. But because that was what she did best. She seemed deep in thought. She didn't meet anyone's eyes even as Chuck desperately willed her to meet his. She made her way over to Serena and gently placed her hand on her best friend's arm.

Blair looked up into her blue eyes. For a long time when she was a kid, Blair thought the colour of joy was the colour of Serena's eyes. Her best friend was always so full of mirth and energy. But now all she saw was sadness and guilt. So Blair spoke softly.

"It's not your fault Serena. You've been my best friend through thick and thin.... even when I didn't deserve it."

Serena let a sad laugh bubble out of her tear-stained mouth and Blair gave her a warm smile.

She turned to Nate and slowly touched his face. Nowadays, she rarely wondered if he still cared but it was good to know he did. He may not have been pervasive in the way he showed it, but then again that had never been his style. No that was for other men in the room.

"This has never been your fault Nate. Not once," she assured him. In that moment, Nate remembered why they had stayed together all those years. Blair was a handful but she also had her finer moments, many of them in fact. They just hadn't been right for each other. So he smiled at her, the only way he knew how to smile at her genuinely... as an obliging friend.

"And you," she zeroed in on Chuck. She looked directly into his eyes and never had Chuck seen his own emotions mirrored so perfectly in hers.... Trepidation, fear, worry, love, frustration, sadness, respect, admiration... all these emotions so wonderfully visible in her eyes, like a beautiful stained glass window.

She looked at him and she saw all the worry he felt for her. She saw how tired he was. His shoulders were sagging. Chuck Bass's shoulders never sagged. And suddenly she felt a wave of anger come over her.

Before she could help herself, she started pounding her frail fists on his chest, tears not even giving her any warning before they started to fall.

"How many times do I have to tell you? You are not allowed to destroy yourself. You can't do it Chuck. You can't do it to yourself. You can't do it to me. And you CERTAINLY can't destroy yourself over me."

She continued to cry freely and emphasise her words with each negligible hit. Chuck would give the world for her to actually hurt him right now. Maybe if she hurt him she would stop feeling pain.

"Do you hear me Bass? I won't have it damn it. You don't get to blame yourself for my weakness."

Chuck wrapped his arms securely around Blair. For a moment, she continued to pound her fists but then just gave up, giving herself up to the wonderful cocoon that his coat provided. Her sobs continued as she took him in; his scent that always reminded her of warmth and his arms where she felt so safe.

"Shh. It's ok."


End file.
